Sad

I have been going about my daily business.

I worked on Monday, got back just in time to feed Champ his dinner and get him into bed. I hosted a Breastfeeding Association meeting at my house on Tuesday morning, had my sisters over for afternoon tea in the afternoon. I took Champ to playgroup on Wednesday morning and we caught up with 2 of his little friends for a playdate in the afternoon.

All normal things.

But this week, I have been followed by a little grey cloud of sadness.

I haven't sat on my couch and cried til I was sore. I haven't called up sick for work. I haven't cancelled our usual playdates. I haven't sat thinking about life for hours on end. But I have been sad.

Everything I do, I just feel is a bit less colourful, a bit less vivid. It is like the colour has washed out a bit, and I am left with this constant little bit of sadness.

What would you have been like, Turtle-dove? Were you a boy or a girl? Would you have looked like me? Like your Daddy? Like your brother?

I wanted to feel you kicking in my belly. I wanted to give you cuddles. I wanted to be your Mummy.