Tink-oo

Whilst we do not celebrate Thanksgiving in Australia, I have read a number of your posts regarding what you are grateful for and I have watched enough Hollywood movies to have a general idea of what Thanksgiving is all about (tell me, do all children really dress up on stage for a school pageant which provides the opportunity for their parents to have a major life realisation and save their marriage or advert some major catastrophe or is that just the movies?).

Anyway, I hope that what I am grateful for is obvious. I am grateful for my loving husband Cowboy, my adorable chubby cheeked son Champ and for all of my family and friends. Rather than just the obligatory thankfulness post I'll ask a question about offering thanks.

What I wondered is if a 'thank you' get diminished because the thanker repeats 'tink-oo, tink-oo, tink-ooooooo, Mummia!' until the thankee says 'you're welcome, what lovely manners, Champ.'?

I am grateful for Champs good manners, but must I tell him so everytime I pass him his water bottle and receive thanks in return?!

One year

Yesterday was the first anniversary of my Nan's passing. I remembered it as I was taking my pre-natal vitamin. It was the day of her funeral that I received the delivery of my first box of pre-natal vitamins since I had had Champ. That means it has almost been a year since I decided that I would soon like to expand our family.

A year is a long time and yet not. It has passed without me realising it and yet has been a heartbreakingly long year at times.

When I made the decision to hold off from TTC until our issues are fully investigated I thought that knowing that it would be at least until the new year would make it easier as I wouldn't think about it as much. I was wrong.

These last few weeks I have been plagued with longing to be pregnant again. Longing for a baby. Far from giving me a TTC break, this waiting has brought the issue into the forefront of my every waking moment.

I am almost in my next fertile window. It is almost 2 weeks until our next appointment and that seems an eternity.

I am almost in my next fertile window. And yet I wait.

Not all doom and gloom

Just to prove I am not all doom and gloom while waiting to be (hopefully) given the all clear to TTC: Merry Christmas to all from Champ!

(I tried to upload a video of Champ playing his little guitar and singing 'Christmas song' and 'Jingle Bells' but it took hours and still failed. I figured my computer skills were more equipped for photo uploads.)


I managed to score a smiling toddler Santa photo through hard work and perseverance. I know that the screaming toddler Santa photos are very cute, but I was after the elusive happy face.

We visited Santa from the moment he set up shop and the first visit I didn't even ask Champ if he wanted to cuddle Santa. I just showed him Santa, we both waved to him; all the while Champ was saying 'No, bye-bye Santa. Bye bye.' Then after a while of waving we both went up to say hello. Mummy shook Santa's hand to show Champ that he was an all round nice guy that Mummy trusts.

Santa gave Champ a little gift and I asked Champ to shake Santa's hand. That he figured he could manage. For the rest of the week all I heard were little stories about 'Shake Santa hand'.

Once I figure he had Santa sorted as a nice guy I asked if he wanted to go back to the shops and give Santa a cuddle. 'Oh yeah, Santa cuddle, shake Santa hand'. So we did. And he did. Getting to ring Santa's bell was the cherry on the cake that scored the smile. Now I keep hearing stories about 'Santa, ring bell.'

Everyone but me

Everyone in the fecking world is pregnant except me. Even a character in the book I am currently reading (and was enjoying until today) just found out she was expecting.

I am having such strange jealousy though.

I met a girlfriend today who gave birth to her second child 5 weeks ago and I was introduced to her daughter for the first time. She was adorable and my friend was glowing. But I was not jealous.

I met a woman at a party over the weekend who is due on Christmas Eve (2 days before Turtledove's due date). She was big, hot and uncomfortable. And I could not stop staring at her belly with jealousy.

Silly thing to be jealous over really.

Part of the family

Every day, more and more Champ is becoming part of the family. I know he has been around for nearly two years (oh my, nearly his birthday, must look in to getting invitations out soon) but for a while it has seemed more like Cowboy and I with a baby, rather than a family of three. Lately a few things have changed.

Champ is getting more and more verbal every day. It is insane how fast kids learn. Now when Cowboy and I have conversations in the car, Champ actually listens and pipes up with his own comments, sometimes relevant sometimes not so much (using the word 'learns' can have him babbling on for minutes about visiting the 'worms' in our compost bin).

We have also packed away Champ's highchair (cleaning it up was quite a chore!) and he now sits proudly at the table in his booster chair with Mummy and Daddy. Just as much food gets thrown to the floor but we generally have less of a battle keeping him seated while he eats (and throws) his food. And it's nice. It feels more like a family of three sitting down eating (and throwing) dinner merrily.

It is nice.

Some days...

Some days, like when I am having a massive Mummy meltdown after having to leave Library story time early because Champ would not stop randomly pushing other kids to the floor (he still hasn't grown out of it and I am very tired of it), I think I might wait until Champ is in school before we try for another baby and then our family will be complete as the four of us.

And then...

Some days, like when Champ and I are bent over, heads together in concentration over his colouring books or a bug he has spotted outside and I reach over to plant a kiss on his head, I think that even if I have five kids it still won't be enough.

Non-negotiable

My darling boy Champ,

I thought I'd put this in writing so that there will be no doubt as to my meaning. Since you are not yet two years old, and even for a good year after you do turn two, having a nap is a non-negotiable part of the day.

Whilst I do realise that there is much more fun to be had playing in the sunshine, you need to sleep. I know that yesterday you made it through the day without a nap. That was a once off. Your Mummy couldn't stand any more crying, and after two hours of coercing, threatening and almost begging for you to sleep she gave up and we played in your sand pit in the shade with the hose running to cool us off. This will not be repeated.

Nor will the offer of reading quietly alone in your cot. Mummy doesn't like torn books does she?

I know that nap time comes at an unfortunate time - the hottest part of the day. Of course the hot Australian sun beating down on your blinds and the unrelenting stickiness of the day make napping a bit tougher than usual. You need to to get past that and Just Go To Sleep.

You are too young to be 'over' nap time. You need it. I need it. The world is a much happier place when nap time is adhered to. You are simply too young.

Although you are also too young to lie. Lying is quite a complex skill. You need to be able to preempt what someone else will do if you tell the truth and then deliberately say something that will cause the other person to behave in a different way. You are far too young to grasp this. And yet today you lied to me. Today at nap time you told me you had done a poo. You hadn't, had you Champ? When Mummy checked and told you your bottom was clean, you then lied again didn't you, darling boy? You said you needed the potty. But you didn't did you, sweetie?

So, can we please agree that you are 22 months old; you need sleep and you do not lie. The sleep part is the most important, mmkay?

Love always and forever,

Mummy

xxxooo

Champagne and chilling

I have now had time to digest the news that there will be no baby Lemoncake making in 2009.

Cowboy thinks it is a good thing because 2009 has been so unlucky for us. He thinks we will start afresh in 2010.

My reasoning is different, but I have come to the same conclusion. For more than medical reasons, it is a good idea to wait until the new year to TTC again.

I have my sister's 21st, Champ's 2nd birthday and Christmas in the next couple of months. Not to be pregnant during those times means a) I can drink champagne at my sister's 21st; b) I won't be running to the bathroom constantly to check for spotting during my favourite time of the year; c) I can drink champagne over the silly season.

Overall, it will give me some time and space to relax, not worry about our future children and find a little peace with our 2009 trials.