I think it has been well documented here that despite his many wonderful characteristics, Champ is not a good sleeper. He improved significantly when he weaned himself at 14 months, but still continues to be very hit and miss from night to night.
Recently we have been going through a bad patch. A very bad patch. He was sick a couple of weeks ago and was shocking, and despite him being a lot better now he has gotten used to night waking again.
Two nights ago I hit a wall (no, not literally although it might have made me feel better than what I actually did). Champ woke up ago at 1 a.m. screaming. I went in to him and as soon as he heard me he calmed right down as I tucked his covers back around him. Then as I made to leave he started screaming at me. I was very firm (somewhere between a nice calm but firm voice and yelling at the kid) and said 'It is sleeping time, no crying. No Champ, NO CRYING. CHAMP! Mummy said no crying.' He continued fussing as I tried to leave the room. So I said loudly "Ssssshhhhh! No crying. Sleeping time!' and left the room to his wailing.
Two seconds later I hear him screaming 'I love you! I love you!' repeatedly in a very angry non-loving-you kind of way.
I was so cross at this continued waking that I didn't trust myself not to yell at him if I walked back in again, so I went back to bed and asked Cowboy for a hand. He went in and calmed Champ and Champ continued to sleep for the rest of the night.
But I didn't. I was so upset with myself for loosing it. I mean, surely I can be compassionate to my son at night just as much as during the day. Then I realised the worst part about it all.
When I leave Champ's room and say good night I always finish with 'Goodnight, I love you.'. Always. Except that night at 1 am. The poor kid was screaming at me because I hadn't told him I loved him. Of course I knew that he knew that I loved him. But knowing that didn't help me sleep a wink that night.
BTW, just to make me feel even worse he woke up with another tooth, plus another one almost peeking through and two more bulging gums. Poor kid is getting all his eye teeth at once, and they are terribly painful ones I hear. Bad, bad Mummy.
Protected: 10 months
4 years ago
I'm sorry the night wakings have pushed you to the edge. :( I have *definitely* lost my temper with Bean. I've yelled a few times, which I hate! I just calm down and apologize. It does seem like we need to be supermoms, but really we are only human. Don't be hard on yourself, he knows you love him.
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW, I answered your questions in the comments section of my current post. :)
I am most likely to be cross with Zo when she wakes me at night. I sometimes tend to squeeze her a little too tightly when picking her up out of her crib for the third time. It's okay. No bruises.
ReplyDeleteThe angry "I love you" kind of made me giggle because Zo does that angry voice thing with "Thank you" or "please" when she gets upset. Or the funniest is when she starts singing the "clean up" song in an angry cry. It's so Mommy Dearest. See, I'm the bad mom.