Kids will be kids

Kids hit, kick, push, punch, and even bite each other when young. It is a harsh fact.

If some other kid did this to your kid you would run to your child’s aid and offer immediate comfort. But what are you to do when it is your child (your precious little baby boy) who hits another little one when playing?

My darling little boy seems to be turning into a bully. Except that I can see that there is no maliciousness involved. He lashes out at other kids when he gets excited.

But it still must look like bully behaviour to other parents.

Our first incident happened over a month ago at music class. Champ has always loved one particular song in the class where all the parents kneel and hold over the heads of the kids a large blue sheet of blue cloth which has glittery stars on the underside. He gets so excited and runs around, laughing and squealing with joy. It is precious to watch.

Then, when he can no longer contain his excitement, he swipes another child (usually the smallest kid in the class – did I mention he was smart?) in the face. He doesn’t do this hard, but it frightens the child enough for him/her to cry. I feel terrible for the other child, and Champ gets told firmly that we are not happy with his behaviour. Champ then cries and the song is ruined for everyone.

This happens every week.

Cowboy and I now tailgate him through the entire song and usually avoid a major incident, but it is the fact that he would do it without our intervention which makes him look like a bully.

Three other ‘incidents’ expose Champ as a bully.

One little girl is Champ’s best friend. He adores her and is so excited to see her each time we meet. He says her name clearer than most of his words and is happy at the mere mention of her name. She is a dainty little thing and not yet walking confidently (16 months). We call her his ‘girlfriend’. They play together well most of the time. Champ likes to hug her, she like to kiss him. Champ also likes to pat her on the head or face. Gently at first. Then faster. Then harder. Until his gentle patting has turned frantic.

Another little boy is the son of one of my best friends. Again, he is a late developer and is just pulling up on chairs and only just starting to crawl properly (15 months). Champ has only had one incident with this little boy and his Mum saw it develop. She told me that Champ was gentle touching her son’s face and head, gentle, gentle patting. Then he started to get faster and her son moved his head backwards – into a chair. Her son cried and Champ got a bit upset as I pulled him away from the incident. My girlfriend and I both agreed that it was no one’s fault and we went back to our coffee. But it was too late, I don’t know if it was the attention he had received the first time (I wasn’t giving Champ too much attention as I had sever girlfriends over at the time), but each time he would see the little boy, he would swipe him. Once again, I found myself following his every move to ensure no further hitting ensued.

Finally, out of the 12 or so children at playgroup. Champ has decided to push over or swipe the face of one little boy each time he sees him. You guessed it, the littlest, weakest, least developed kid there. He knows how to pick them, that’s for sure. He never does it to any of the other kids, just this one little boy. The boy (14 months) is just learning to walk and still has a dummy. Champ (who never took a dummy) is always trying to steal it from the boy’s mouth or otherwise irritate him.

Apart from watching his every move and firmly telling him ‘no’ each time these things happen, I am at a loss of what to do. I realise that this is most likely a stage he will just grow out of and no maliciousness is intended. But meanwhile my relaxing get togethers with other parents are no longer relaxing.