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30 March 2009

Ethics

For the first time in 2 years my body is physically supporting me, and only me. I am not pregnant or breastfeeding.


You'd think I'd relish the freedom, right?


You wouldn't think my mind (body?) would start tick, tick, ticking away, would you?


Well, you'd be wrong, wrong, wrong. Tick, tick, tick.


Cowboy and I have been seriously starting to think about, thinking about going again. In fact we may even be plain old thinking about going again.


So, here is my dilemma.


I have a wonderful little boy. I never, even for a second, experienced gender disappointment once he was born and I found out that my baby was a son. However, while of course, all you ever want is a healthy baby, I have always wanted a daughter. That feeling has diminished a little now that I know how much wonder and happiness a little boy can bring, but I still would love a little girl one day.


If I could have a guarantee that #3 (yes, we are that crazy to want more, more, more) would be a girl, I would actually love to give Champ a brother close to his own age, so #2 being a boy would be lovely. Of course since it is not possible to guarantee #3, it would be good to have a girl at #2 so that I've a guaranteed 'one of each'.


Recently, reading about what I should be eating and how I should be timing our baby-making realtions (yes, I have thought about it that much already!) to increase our odds of having a girl, I have found a body of thought regarding the ethics in even this 'low-tech' gender selection. I had never even considered this before.


Now that I think about it, if I'd known the in's and out's of how boys vs girls are created, I may have timed our baby-making a little differently 2 years ago (as I said earlier, I have always wanted a girl). Different timing may have resulted in me having a 15 month old daughter right now. But that would mean that there would be no Champ. How in the world could there be no Champ?!


So now I am unsure if I should use this 'knowledge' of how to 'naturally' increase the odds of us having a girl for #2, or if I will always wonder about the brother that Champ could have had close to his own age...

3 comments:

  1. I'm a bit dubious about low-tech gender selection research, especially the food thing. After all, we've always been told it's the sperm that determines sex. I know that the food thing is supposed to be about conditions that make the womb more amenable to one sex or another (right?), but still, that only increases your odds of successfully hosting one or the other, not of conception. And any embryo that is gentle enough not to thrive because I ate PBJ instead of pasta is probably not very hearty anyway, n'est-ce pas?

    But still, I understand your psychological premise. It took us 1.5 years to conceive Zo, and as painful as it was at the time, I think now how I wouldn't trade the girl we waited for over any other baby.

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  2. Yes, and I do realise that by aiming for a girl, you are in effect mis-timing your relations which reduces the odds of conception anyway... hhhmm. Not sure if I can actually hold back on my ovulation day (boy high chance day) once I have decided to make a go for it (on the girl high chance days)!

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  3. Tough question. Medical ethics usually raises the tough questions. I can't really offer you much in the way of answers. Just wanted to say I think it's great that you're really chewing on this decision and giving it thought at all!

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