Two years!

Two years ago today my life changed forever. Well, I guess it all started 9 or so months before then, but I didn't realise quite how different my new life would be until 5.57 a.m. on 15th December 2007 when my heart flip flopped and I knew I was had fallen into the sort of love that is impossible to reverse.

I didn't realise Champ was a boy until 20 minutes after he was born when Cowboy and I had finally stopped exclaiming over his every little feature and a nurse asked if we had had a boy or a girl. As I snuck a look under the cloth which had materialised to cover us both, I told Cowboy that Champ was a boy. The look in his eyes is one I'll never forget. Good thing too, because he was out of that room in a flash to tell our family that we had a little boy! He was also clearly besotted.

I knew I would love my child, but I didn't realise it would be like falling in love. He is in my every thought and action. He is firmly entwined in my life and always will be.

The other day while watching some TV show, the son challenged the Dad to a show down over the mother's affections. Cowboy commented dryly 'We all know who'll win that challenge, hey son?'. He occasionally makes comments to the effect that I love Champ more than him. I try in actions and in words to show Cowboy that I love him just as much (albeit quite differently) as Champ.

But maybe that is the difference. With Champ I don't have to try to show him. Motherly love is just hard not to show. In every moment there are looks, cuddles and an awareness of each other that is not found in any other relationship. The umbilical cord may have been cut two years ago, but there is a very strong one that I never fail to feel the strong presence of.

The last two years have changed me as a person. Despite the daily trials and tribulations of being the mother of a two year old, I never fail to acknowledge just how lucky I am to be Champ's Mummy, mostly because I get to kiss him any time I like.