Ready Again

I have just been enjoying a cup of tea and reading my latest book during Champ's daytime nap. The main character in the novel has had her heart broken by love many months ago and has now met someone new that she fancies. Her best friend is trying to warn her against him because she can not stand to see this girl's heart being broken again. The main character firms her jaw and decides 'I don't care. I'm ready again. For everything this time.'.

That is exactly how I feel this cycle. I think that part of our decision to wait to TTC until our results were back from the tests after our miscarriages was due to me not being ready to try again.

But now I feel ready again.

I have analysed and analysed everything from by behaviour during my last two pregnancies, what I ate and my general health to the products I use in my house and on my body and any other miscarriage threats I could potentially be exposed to. I think that the time has come to simply try again. I need to trust that my body ended those pregnancies because all was not right and to hope and pray with everything that I have that our next pregnancy will bring us a healthy child.

I am sure that I will spend quite some time worrying throughout my next pregnancy and my heart will be 100% wanting everything to succeed. But I think I will have to trust my body and simply throw myself into it again.

Come what may.

I don't care. I'm ready again. For everything this time.