Warning: Gross post. Don't read if you have a weak stomach.Sometimes life is just too cruel.
At 10 weeks gestation with Champ I had an ultrasound. Cowboy and I experienced the absolute thrill of seeing him waving his little arms (arm buds we were told they were) to say 'Hi Mummy and Daddy'. That image of joy will stay with us forever.
Yesterday I should have been 10 weeks gestation with Muscles. I alone in the bathroom at playgroup experienced another image that will permanently stay with me. I passed Muscles in one laugh.
While laughing with another Mum I felt an odd thing escaping me. I excused myself for the bathroom and there falling into the toilet, before I had a chance to react, was my baby. It looked just like the internet said it should at 9 weeks.
I started at Muscles for quite a while. What option did I have but to flush? I don't know what I would have done if it had fallen onto my pad instead and I had the option of doing something else with it. So I said a silent prayer and flushed.
Oh, God, Red. How surreal. And awful. You poor dear.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I haven't posted about it yet, but I began I miscarrying today. Ultrasound showed nothing there, so I don't think I'll be having the same gruesome experience. Geez. Still processing your story.
ReplyDeleteI'm at a loss for words. Wishing for you to have some peace of mind amidst this...trauma.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say something else, but I really am...speechless.
I am so sorry. I understand the horrifying event that took place in the bathroom. I was only 6.5 weeks when I miscarried. But it is something that still plays in my head. I was at home and didn't flush for hours. I didn't know what to do. Miscarriage is really cruel and hard to comprehend, especially when the Mom in you is so alive. I'm sorry for your loss. P.S. Not sure how I got to your blog... :)
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie. I'm so terribly sorry. Talk about adding insult to injury - that's just really unfair.
ReplyDelete