I have noticed lately how I walk away from some conversations with certain Mums feeling grateful, happy and hopeful; and from conversations with other Mums feeling grumpy and dissatisfied. Some Mums have such a positive attitude towards parenting and their children that I mentally count my blessings as I walk away from their company; other Mums are so dissatisfied with their lot in life that their dark cloud starts to follow me around for the rest of the day and I find myself finding fault in my darling little boy.
Upon further examining these mothers, I realise that the children of these different types of mothers are all really the same, not better or worse bahaved than the other. It is the attitude of the mothers that makes them either darling angels or cheeky minxes. Often it seems that these 'difficult' children have been labeled 'difficult' since before they were even born. Have you ever noticed that 'difficult' labels are almost impossible to remove?
These mothers often had 'difficult' pregnancies and 'difficult' birthing experiences; the baby was 'difficult' and now the toddler is, of course, 'difficult'.
I know that these experiences can be easier or more difficult to varying degrees; however, all pregnancies are uncomfortable at the least, not many births are a walk in the park, all babies cry and fuss, and all toddlers are clingy attention seeking, tantrum throwing little beings. At times.
Some mothers manage to talk about their toddler with a smile on their face and a twinkle in their eye as they juggle the kid on one hip while calming him down from a tantrum, accepting and enjoying the fact that their child wants their attention more than any other thing in the world.
All I can do it try to surround myself with these kind of parents so that my attitude can be just as positive. Raising children is not easy; but nothing that is worth it ever is.
Protected: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
5 years ago
Many parents recommend that you ignore your child's attitude so that you stay focused on the behavior you want your child to change. Thanks for posting this. I really enjoy reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you what. This resonates strongly with me right now. we've got these friends who think their son is the hardest most difficult child to live with. While I agree that he's experiencing the toddler tantrum stage, I wouldn't say it's nearly as bad as our friends (esp. the mom) *acts* like it is. he's a sweet boy who has needs - that's how I see it. The thing is - when I spend more time with her - *I* get more stressed. This can't be good for any of us. I think finding other parents who have a positive outlook and take parenting in stride is more of what i need.
ReplyDeleteI think you are exactly right. Moms seem to have different expectations of how their child should behave, and that makes all the difference. HE'S A TODDLER. They throw things, make messes, chase the dog, and have tantrums. Deal with it, but don't get emotionally pulled in! The labels are hard to shake, it's too bad.
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