Babe in arms

My little boy is growing up so fast.

Champ now makes a huge mess trying to self feed everything from lamb chops (not too messy) to cereal (totally messy). He also has clear preferences; he loves the Wiggles, couldn't care less for Sesame Street. His preferences are clearly shown through tantrums. Oh, the tantrums!

Champ is also developing such a personality, he has this little game that he learnt from the older kids at daycare, the rules of the game seem to be that he has to run around the room like we are trying to catch him and he is 'safe' when he is touching a wall or couch, etc. The cheeky little smile on his face as he does it is adorable. He is starting to understand cause and effect through games, our current favourite is kiss Mummy and I lift him high above my head three times, rinse, repeat. It gets tiring for me quickly, but I get loads of kisses!

But the biggest clue that Champ is growing up is that he appears to be self weaning.

We have given breastfeeding a red hot go. There has been a natural progression from exclusive breastfeeding to starting (and loving) solids. We have experienced the natural decrease in feeds, usually one feed at a time disappeared from his schedule without us seeming to notice. Each time he dropped a sleep or slept longer overnight, one feed would just disappear.

I remember being anxious about it at different points over the last 14 months, wondering just how it would pan out. Wondering if I would have to actively wean him and how exactly we were to ever going to get him to stop day feeds before I returned to work. But it has all happened so naturally, that I have barely noticed it. And now he has stopped wanting his morning feed.

For the last 2 days rather than waking up at the break of dawn (5.00 or some other un-godly hour), having a quick breastfeed and then going back to bed for a couple of hours, Champ has been sleeping until about 7.00 at which time I feed him breakfast. So, now we are down to one feed just before bed at night.

It feels so precarious. At any time Champ could start refusing that feed, then where will we be? He may be ready to end the breastfeeding relationship, but I am not sure that I am.

Of course I have to respect his decision, and I will not be forcing him to feed if he doesn't need to. But I will miss our little moment at the end of the day when the world seems to stop and my busy, active toddler slows down and once again is my baby lying still in his Mummy's arms.