I have been suffering a bit of pregnancy insomnia lately. Nothing really to write home about, and I remember being the same while pregnant with Champ. The combination of early nights, nanna-naps, constant thirst, subsequent multiple toilet breaks, sore breasts and aching hips make some night time wakefulness perfectly understandable. This last week though, one more thing has been thrown into the mix to make me even more wakeful. Worry.
You would think that at 11.5 weeks I would be past the worry. However, I think it is the hope that has been creeping in ever since that 8 week scan which is making me worry. Prior to that scan I tried to have a 'come what may' attitude (hard as that was to actually pull off). But since seeing Lucky's heartbeat and little limb buds waving hello to Mummy, I have been caught up in hope.
Rather than planning each week at a time, just hoping Lucky would hold on tight to let me make it to the next weekly milestone, I have started to look further ahead. I have started to think about sleeping arrangements and our pre-baby shopping list. I have started to imagine Champ holding Lucky for the first time as he realises Mummy's belly is not the baby, the baby was in there. I have started to anticipate the sleepless nights, our breastfeeding journey and managing a newborn and a toddler.
I have my 12 week scan on Friday morning.
Last night I woke up and I was cradling my belly in my arms. And I realised that hope and love have well and truly made it in to this pregnancy.
Protected: 10 months
5 years ago
For me eliminating the mid-afternoon nap has made a big difference in my night time insomnia. It was hard initially to do away with but now I just try to go to bed earlier when I can.
ReplyDeletewish you the best at your 12 wk scan!
Such a beautiful post! I wish you all the best on Friday :)
ReplyDeleteI am so, so, so happy to see you so hopeful. Can't wait for your appointment on Friday. I had my 12 week appointment today-- no ultrasound, but we heard the heartbeat on the doppler. Most beautiful sound ever. After a month of not hearing/seeing Baby Blakely it was such a relief.
ReplyDeleteDo they have places where you can rent a doppler over there? Here in the states, I rented one for a completely reasonable price from www.babybeat.com. I sleep soooo much better when I can hear the heartbeat(s) before bed.
ReplyDeleteI bet it won't be long before you're feeling those first flutters. That will make you feel better. Or, it will keep you up all night waiting for more.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny what you said about Champ -- I think Z also thinks my belly IS the baby. Or more specifically, my belly button.
It sort of feels like hope invites disaster, doesn't it? Like, if we get emotionally invested in the pregnancy, if we start to be happy about this tiny baby, somehow we're going to be punished for it. It makes no sense but that's sometimes how I feel.
ReplyDeleteI hope the US reassures you, good luck! And keep making plans, keeping dreaming...