Gender neutral

Gender. It's not important. What is important is a healthy baby. But of course the gender of your child does have consequences slightly more important than just the colour of your nursery.

We didn't find out Champ's gender before he was born. I wanted the surprise. I was told it would get me through labour wondering if the baby I was pushing out was a boy or a girl. I can tell you that I did not once in those 24+ hours of actual labour ponder the gender of our baby. I just wanted it out.

We were so indifferent to Champ's gender that we forgot to check under the towel for a few minutes as we exclaimed over his every little facial feature. Well, we were indifferent; until I checked and told Cowboy that he had a son. The look on that man's face told me he wasn't as indifferent as we had made out. I will never in all my years forget that look of overwhelming pride and joy on my husband's face.

In two days we have our big scan for Lucky. We are seriously thinking about finding out the gender this time. No real reason. Just to do it differently; see which we we like better. But of course you can't 'undo' being told. So we are still not 100% sure we will find out.

With Champ I 'knew' he was a boy. The entire pregnancy I was convinced he was a boy. That didn't stop me secretly hoping for a girl. That is a terrible thing to say, I know. I am the oldest of 3 girls and by the time my brother came along I was too old to 'play with the baby', so my experience is mostly with girl babies.

That is probably the reason we didn't find out his gender. I knew I would be disappointed if at the 20 week scan I was told I was having a boy. But after the birth, and holding your baby in your arms, there is no way you could feel one ounce of disappointment. All I felt at meeting Champ way pure love. I literally fell 'in love' with him. Now, I don't know if that happens when you have a girl.

This is why I am contemplating finding out Lucky's gender. I will not feel disappointed if Lucky is a boy or a girl. In fact I want both. I want a brother for Champ and I want a girl to dress up.

I know the absolute joy that a son is. People say that sons grow up and move away to their wives while a girl will always come back home to Mummy, but in these early years having a son is pure joy. Champ is a little comedian, he is bright and energetic and he loves me with an absolute passion. Little boys tend not to hold grudges or get nasty with each other. And who wouldn't want a ton of little Mummy's boys?

Of course I wouldn't mind some of our cars, trucks and balls being replaced by dolls and whatever else little girls like to play with (can you tell I am the mother of a boy?). And I adore girl's clothes much, much more than boy's. I would also like to have a daughter who will someday marry and have babies.

But these are all very general and quite sexist things. Champ enjoys playing with soft toys and dancing to music just as much as girls at his age do (loves the soft toys and tea parties actually!). And who is to say a little girl wouldn't insist on wearing pants and climbing trees - even chose not to marry and have children. Champ and his brother my be chalk and cheese; he and his sister may end up best of friends. There are no guarantees about anything.

I have learnt more about myself and about children in the last few years. I am proud to honestly say that I am actually indifferent to the gender of my child now, and would be thrilled if my future kids photos looked like either of these pictures below.

Champ and Lucky as best buddies:

Or Champ doting on his little sister, Lucky:


So now all I am hoping for Tuesday is for the scan to show me a healthy baby. But for the record, I want to know your guess as to the gender of Lucky...