Everyone but me

Everyone in the fecking world is pregnant except me. Even a character in the book I am currently reading (and was enjoying until today) just found out she was expecting.

I am having such strange jealousy though.

I met a girlfriend today who gave birth to her second child 5 weeks ago and I was introduced to her daughter for the first time. She was adorable and my friend was glowing. But I was not jealous.

I met a woman at a party over the weekend who is due on Christmas Eve (2 days before Turtledove's due date). She was big, hot and uncomfortable. And I could not stop staring at her belly with jealousy.

Silly thing to be jealous over really.

Part of the family

Every day, more and more Champ is becoming part of the family. I know he has been around for nearly two years (oh my, nearly his birthday, must look in to getting invitations out soon) but for a while it has seemed more like Cowboy and I with a baby, rather than a family of three. Lately a few things have changed.

Champ is getting more and more verbal every day. It is insane how fast kids learn. Now when Cowboy and I have conversations in the car, Champ actually listens and pipes up with his own comments, sometimes relevant sometimes not so much (using the word 'learns' can have him babbling on for minutes about visiting the 'worms' in our compost bin).

We have also packed away Champ's highchair (cleaning it up was quite a chore!) and he now sits proudly at the table in his booster chair with Mummy and Daddy. Just as much food gets thrown to the floor but we generally have less of a battle keeping him seated while he eats (and throws) his food. And it's nice. It feels more like a family of three sitting down eating (and throwing) dinner merrily.

It is nice.

Some days...

Some days, like when I am having a massive Mummy meltdown after having to leave Library story time early because Champ would not stop randomly pushing other kids to the floor (he still hasn't grown out of it and I am very tired of it), I think I might wait until Champ is in school before we try for another baby and then our family will be complete as the four of us.

And then...

Some days, like when Champ and I are bent over, heads together in concentration over his colouring books or a bug he has spotted outside and I reach over to plant a kiss on his head, I think that even if I have five kids it still won't be enough.

Non-negotiable

My darling boy Champ,

I thought I'd put this in writing so that there will be no doubt as to my meaning. Since you are not yet two years old, and even for a good year after you do turn two, having a nap is a non-negotiable part of the day.

Whilst I do realise that there is much more fun to be had playing in the sunshine, you need to sleep. I know that yesterday you made it through the day without a nap. That was a once off. Your Mummy couldn't stand any more crying, and after two hours of coercing, threatening and almost begging for you to sleep she gave up and we played in your sand pit in the shade with the hose running to cool us off. This will not be repeated.

Nor will the offer of reading quietly alone in your cot. Mummy doesn't like torn books does she?

I know that nap time comes at an unfortunate time - the hottest part of the day. Of course the hot Australian sun beating down on your blinds and the unrelenting stickiness of the day make napping a bit tougher than usual. You need to to get past that and Just Go To Sleep.

You are too young to be 'over' nap time. You need it. I need it. The world is a much happier place when nap time is adhered to. You are simply too young.

Although you are also too young to lie. Lying is quite a complex skill. You need to be able to preempt what someone else will do if you tell the truth and then deliberately say something that will cause the other person to behave in a different way. You are far too young to grasp this. And yet today you lied to me. Today at nap time you told me you had done a poo. You hadn't, had you Champ? When Mummy checked and told you your bottom was clean, you then lied again didn't you, darling boy? You said you needed the potty. But you didn't did you, sweetie?

So, can we please agree that you are 22 months old; you need sleep and you do not lie. The sleep part is the most important, mmkay?

Love always and forever,

Mummy

xxxooo

Champagne and chilling

I have now had time to digest the news that there will be no baby Lemoncake making in 2009.

Cowboy thinks it is a good thing because 2009 has been so unlucky for us. He thinks we will start afresh in 2010.

My reasoning is different, but I have come to the same conclusion. For more than medical reasons, it is a good idea to wait until the new year to TTC again.

I have my sister's 21st, Champ's 2nd birthday and Christmas in the next couple of months. Not to be pregnant during those times means a) I can drink champagne at my sister's 21st; b) I won't be running to the bathroom constantly to check for spotting during my favourite time of the year; c) I can drink champagne over the silly season.

Overall, it will give me some time and space to relax, not worry about our future children and find a little peace with our 2009 trials.